By Qianyu (Margaret) Cheng
Discussing is going on.
The topic is about “how to make friends”… And every one seems to have a lot to say. They are talking, joking, laughing, and sharing their points of view, except me.
To be honest, my brain goes all blank. I find it hard to follow what they are saying, so it is even harder for me to participate in the conversation.
This happened to me a lot, even for now. Sometimes I was wondering why. I mean, writing and reading in English is not too bad, why speaking out what I think is so hard?
This was indeed a challenge for me. Maybe it was because my first language is not English, or it was simply because I was too tired or stressed out. No matter for what reason, it was so hard for me to talk to the others and even make friends.
However, when the time goes on things went better. I feel more confident and more willing to speak out. There are few tips I want to share.
First of all, take it easy and don’t be afraid of making mistakes. It is normal to make mistakes and no one will judge you for that. Just speak out what you think. At first I cared about how do I sound like too much, but once you let it go and just speak what you think, you will find that it is not so hard.
Secondly, for a lecture discussion or academic discussion, it is better to do some research about the topic beforehand. Since you already have something in your mind, it will be a lot easier for you to participate and contribute in the team. And since you already know about the subject in some depth, you will feel more comfortable and confident when you discuss with fellow students.
Additionally, don’t step back if your point of view is different from the others. The reason why the world is becoming globalized is that different perspective brings new inspiration. People would love to know what you think and why you think the way you do. Sometimes difference does exist, but it helps people know about each other and themselves better. The diversity makes the world a better place.
Last and not least, just be who you are. That is truly important in my point of view.
For me, since I am a more introvert person, especially in public, it is hard for me to step out of my comfort zone and to just speak out. I was once really worried that I could never talk and made friends with the others. So I kind of forcing myself to talk and things did not work out that well. But gradually I find out one thing. That is: don’t try to be someone you are not. Everyone is beautiful in his or her own way. Especially in such a diverse campus, everyone has different background, and no one has the exactly same experience. So it is important to just be yourself. In the meantime, it is a good opportunity to learn from the others. For the last two years studying abroad experience, I have known so many people and learn from them a lot. Make friend is that simple: just be who you are, be brave, and think positively.