I always remember that before I attended the U of I, moving to a new country and living with someone born and raised in a different cultural environment seemed so intimidating to me, as I didn’t think that I would truly understand their experience or cultural background. Yet, after I came to the United States and got paired with a domestic student, I found out that it wasn’t as hard as I had expected.
The most challenging thing that I found at first was communication, followed by the cultural barrier. Looking back to my first year on the U of I campus, I can recall some funny anecdotes and scenes when my roommate and I had some misunderstandings. For example, one time, I was very frustrated for personal reasons, and she tried to cheer me up and said “you should leave your troubles at the door and focus on what you have right now”. Then, I stopped tearing up and started to think about what she meant by “leave your troubles at the door”. It took me a while to think that phrase through, and at that time I was too shy to ask her what it meant. Several months later (probably during finals), I mentioned this word again and she laughed, “You should’ve asked me directly. I would have been very willing to explain it to you”. After that, she also mentioned other metaphorical idioms such as “elephant in the room” and “big cheese”. Moreover, living with her also helped me to adapt to campus life. Before I attended college, I barely went to the gym. However, my roommate had a fixed schedule for working out almost every other day. Knowing that I rarely went to the gym, she happily guided me and we gradually became workout buddies. As time went forward, I became more and more confident about expressing myself and more comfortable exploring the U of I campus. With everything that she did, I could tell that she was trying to help me feel at home and I really appreciated what she had done for me. I felt lucky to have such a nice roommate, who was willing to make an initial contact with a foreign roommate.
However, not every student is willing to make that initial contact, and even if you have a friendly and caring roommate, tension could still arise, partially due to cultural barriers and different lifestyles. I find some tips helpful, such as setting boundaries with your roommate. Just sitting down and figuring out how you'll both be happy living together right after you both move in can save lots of negotiation time later. Creating a schedule that includes times when you are both available to make a little conversation, as well as times when each of you can clean the shared space, can also help you and your roommate to bond. Lastly, if you don’t like your roommate, a little patience and communication probably may be needed before you decide to end this roommate relationship.